Day 88

I'm feeling good today. I got some good new ideas for working with the kids, and I'm excited to try them. I'm going to try whispering when I feel like yelling, I'm told that you use a different part of your brain when you whisper (which I find oddly fascinating). The other thing I'm going to try is active listening with the kids on their level. That means that I will kneel down and get to their eye level and then repeat back to them their words in their tone of voice so that they know that I have heard them.

This new app that I got has really inspired me to stay present with myself and my feelings, and the kids and their feelings. I made a list to remind me of the things I'm trying to make my new habits around the kids. I added a task to my morning routine of reading my list every morning. I'm hoping to have that help me remember to do each of those things. Here's my list:

REMEMBER THIS

* When you want to yell, whisper
* When the kids are whining, kneel so you are on their level, and mirror them, use active listening to let them feel heard
* If Bram is screaming in your face, put him down while you get other things done
* Plan ahead for transitions
* Tell Solomon you love him by being punctual
* Cuddle with Cirdan
* Breathe

I'm working on my relationship with Cirdan in a lot of these items, and I think that Cirdan is a physical touch kid, meaning he knows I love him when I give him physical expressions of affection (hugs, kisses, back rubs, etc. ). It's strange to me that I really have to remind myself to do this, but that's the reality, so if I need to I'll make hugs a routine item to make sure I create this habit!

Being on time for life is something that I struggle with, especially if I'm not excited to go do what I need to do. It means a lot to Solomon to be on time, so I'm trying to create a new habit of being on time as a way of showing him respect and love.

I am reading a book by John Chapman called: The five languages of apology. One of the languages is called repentance, which means that an integral part of the apology is to make a decision to change, communicate that to the person you have wronged, and then do so. This is a tough one for me (I think that's true for all humans actually) and the book talks about the importance of making a plan so that you carry out the changes. So this list that I must read daily is my first plan for change. If it doesn't work, I'll try something else.