That is not putting it too harshly. I had a few redeeming moments, but mostly today was, as it's called these days, an EPIC FAIL. I buried myself in online TV shows, and then flipped out at the end of the day. Thea is the sickie now, and it appears to be the same thing that the youngest two had already. The big difference is that she is more able to tell me how she feels, ask for what she wants, and (more to the point) moan, whine, and generally complain about how bad she feels. This is a legitimate thing for someone who is sick to do. Unfortunately I'm still behind on sleep, and lacking in compassion in general anyway, so add to that a child that is perpetually moaning, and I don't make it through the day with composure. It's one of my BIG faults. I don't know why it's so hard for me to feel compassionate about how the kids are feeling, but for some reason it is. It also didn't help that I am fighting off the same whatever-this-is. So I had a headache and sore throat and was general crummy feeling all day as well. Unlike Thea I don't get to curl up on the couch and have people wait on me hand and foot, but I still want that. ( I didn't wait on her hand and foot though, so I guess she didn't get that either)
If you guys ever read this, someday when you are much older, I want you to know I'm sorry.
*sigh* I'm really sad for the kids and what they had to put up with from me today. Tomorrow I have a plan! I will be getting up early with Solomon and we are going to get our quiet time together before the day begins. Then perhaps the kids will have a prayer for having a loving mother for the day. I Pray that my children, my wonderful little professors, will have a loving mother tomorrow. I pray that I can have the grace to mend some of the hurt and fear I saw in their faces this evening.
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