So I gave myself a B+, but it was in great part because I had lots of people around today, so I did my typical thing of not really showing my true colors when it comes to parenting. But I still take some credit (just some) for the good treatment my children received.
I also had a big theological discussion (read argument) with a family member, that got me really riled up. I tend to get really riled up with theological debates ... uh I mean, discussions. Something I'm just noticing now though, that is a positive outcome, is that the whole discussion reminded me that I MUST think positive! I tend to berate myself internally for being a "Bad Mom", in fact I probably think hundreds of negative thoughts about and to myself every day. And the part that baffles me is that the more I criticize myself, the worse I treat my kids (the professors as I like to think of them). So when I'm having a bad day with the kids, I yell at them, and then I yell at me, and then I yell at them some more. Bad downward spiral!
But I have also had days where I have successfully not yelled at myself. Those days, I replace my "Bad Mom!" talk with "I am a loving mother" and then (it really just seems like magic to me) I AM!!! It's really amazing to me that positive self talk leads to positive behavior, and negative self talk leads to negative behavior. I'm guessing this is not unique to me, but it's so profound, yet easy to forget to practice.
OK, so I'm reminding myself every day that 1: I love my job, and 2: When I hear myself think critical thoughts, I turn it around and think uplifting affirming thoughts.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow! I just hope Prof Zoe sleeps well tonight, because as usual it's really late!
Goodnight!
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