Today was a mix. Zoe didn't really sleep until 3 am this morning, and I spent some time with her in her room, some with her in bed with me, some downstairs in the living room watching movies. She was finally tired, and went to sleep willingly at just before 3 am. Solomon was wonderful and got up when the Professors woke up around 6 am. I was able to sleep until almost 9 am, though it did not help me feel truly rested. The rest of the day is mostly a crabby sleepy haze. It went OK, not too much yelling on my part. That is until bed time. Tonight didn't go so well. The cleanup and before-before bed routine went well overall, but once we were up to brushing teeth, and using the potty it was a different story. The kids were behaving, I just had negative quantities of patience tonight. The kids were not as fast as I wanted them to be and even a hint of complaining or whining was absolutely unbearable. Several times I got very crabby and harsh, for no reason at all. I am feeling really bad about it, but I don't really know how to make it right. I just need to get some sleep, and feel beter and then maybe I can be human enough to treat my family well.
I really dislike it that it feels like I simply cannot function unless I get my body perfectly taken care of. I really wish that I was better at rising above the physical state of my body, and just be the person I am trying to be no matter how I am feeling. Something to aim for I guess.....
