Last night went much better. I did go to bed around 9p.m., which is a good 2 or 3 hours earlier than I usually go to bed. I got a solid 6 hours of sleep before Zoe woke up and needed me. Solomon was ready to go in and take care of her, and as much as I was grateful for his willingness, I couldn't sleep through her crying. She was only crying because she wanted me, so I went ahead and took her. It actually wasn't that bad. Ultimately she and I spent the rest of the night on the couch in the living room. I had been prepped for that possibility, so we had blankets and a pillow to make ourselves comfy. She was ready to get up around 6 as usual, and the day began from there.
The day had it's ups and downs, but I didn't push myself too much, and I stayed fairly cheerful overall. I still spoke harshly to the kids several times, and I could have done better. But overall I'm feeling good about how I was. I was not the short fuse that I was yesterday. I am a bit sad that I didn't go to bed as early tonight as I did last night. I know I need to put some effort onto getting extra sleep. I have to try to get ahead because all the kids have the potential to get whooping cough any second now.
I love my Kids, they are wonderful teachers. They were very cooperative at some key moments tonight, and that was wonderful. Cirdan went into "Helpful Boy" mode (I love it when he does that!) and made his bed, Jaden's bed, and did a lot of the cleanup in the living room and bedroom. All the kids were wonderful for getting into PJ's and brushing teeth etc.
Thanks Lord for sweet children. Thanks for forgiving me for not being a perfect mother, and giving me the opportunity to do better every day.
I forgot to keep reflecting on things that I am not in control of. I am not in control of the kids health. I cannot control if they get whooping cough or not. I cannot control if they are exposed to whooping cough from a classmate. But I am in control of how I choose to care for them, with their best interests at heart, and with compassion for them when they feel lousy. So I'll try to always be understanding when they are sad and icky feeling.
