Today was the too cute for words Christmas program at the elementary school where my older two children are students. It was delightful! It was hard, in that taking care of Jaden was challenging. He had the hardest time paying attention to the program, and was ready to go home about 15 minutes into it. But we got through it. I did threaten him with taking him to the car and leaving him if he couldn't be quiet....not sure that was so smart. It was a totally empty threat, but I should not use empty threats, and that was a particularly mean one. The problem is that in the moment it's hard to think of something reasonable to threaten with, and it works, which unfortunately makes me more prone to do it again in the future....Note to self...figure this out...
The aftermath as I call it is not so fun. The kids are so excited from all the activity that they are basket cases when we get home! They turn into little whine machines, and I don't like it. But I got through it, noticing my feelings fairly well along the way. I'm really tired now because we went out with some good friends for dinner and a movie tonight, which was lots of fun!
I need to ponder something here: I cannot control others, I must learn this. Yet I also feel obligated to provide information that I see is needed. I cannot control the reception of the information, but I can give it. Is that OK? I think it is, but it's hard to figure out right now. If I know something, and I don't offer that information when I can see it is needed, isn't that neglecting my loved ones? If I offer it, when asked that seems OK, but what if it is not directly asked for? if it is asked in a general way, and I offer more than was asked for is that OK? I know that I am not supposed to offer advice, or preach, yet I find myself doing exactly that frequently. But I can think of many times in my life, that someone speaking up has made a huge impact on my life, and I am so grateful for their information. There are other times that people spoke up, but I was not willing to hear them, and ignored them so throughly that I don't remember them saying anything at all. Where are the boundaries? I have to reflect more on that one...
Goodnight.
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