Day 80

Wow! 80 days! I guess I could have gone around the world by now. I feel like I've been around the world emotionally in the last 80 days, does that count?
Today has been a blur of goodbyes and, and good times. My Dad headed out this morning, to visit my sister in Baltimore, and then straight to the airport and home. I am very grateful for the visiting I was able to share with him. I went out to breakfast with my sisters (it was all of us but two, a rare occurrence) and had a lot of fun, being silly for the most part, and getting in one last visit before Neva heads back to school. I was productive today, setting up our finances for January, and having a budget meeting with Solomon. I even wrote all the meals in January on my wall calendar, and made a shopping list from it. I now have a plan, and that feels really good!
I was almost consistent in asking Solomon to help me with things the right, and non-codependent way today! YAY! that happens so rarely, and it gives me hope that I really can learn a new habit! In the past my requests for help sounded something like this:

"Solomon, I am helping Cirdan with his shoes, and Thea is asking for an apple, so I was hoping that you could do me a HUGE favor and change Jaden's diaper. You don't have to if you don't want to, I can do it when I am done with these two, I'm just worried that he'll get a sore bottom if he is in that diaper much longer...You will??? Thank you Sooooooo Much!"

I have leaned that I do this because I do not think I am allowed to ask for help, so I don't ask, I give all the reasons why I cant do it and I want him to. I turn to manipulation so that I can have the help that I need. I have learned that I can simply say:

"Solomon would you please change Jaden's diaper? Thank you."

It is enough.
I am enough.
I am allowed to ask for help.
I am worthy of help.
I can trust Solomon to say no if he needs to.
I have the right to be less than super human, and to do less than humanly possible.
And, after all, it's a lot shorter to say...   :)